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A lot of people seem to think I have direction- that I have it figured out. I just want to be honest with you guys. Every second of every day, I question whether or not I’m doing the right thing. Whether or not I’m where I’m supposed to be; being who I’m supposed to be. Every decision. I’m assuming I’m not the only one out there who’s like this. Feeling like I’m doing the wrong thing when it should feel right. For those of you who feel this.. I’m with you. I feel like I KNOW it’s worth it. But sometimes I don’t believe it. It’s not even that I feel broken, necessarily… but just that I feel bent. Sort of crooked and cockeyed. I know that the truth will set me free and I know what I believe and where I stand. It’s just that sometimes, my own feet betray me. Is this what humanity is/feels like? Uncertainty? Question marks????? haha… Faith is tricky. But friend, I believe in you. I really do. And it is my belief in my fellow humans, and my overarching belief in a God that is love, that keeps me going. Even if I have to limp.
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I feel like this sometimes too. I started a small organization if you will called Change for Change a few months ago. It raises money for clothes for kids in El Salvador. It hasn’t really taken off I have told both of my youth groups about it and 3 different pastors and it just sort of stand still. However we have raised a little over $200 since then. But I wonder if this is what God wants me to do. If this is really where he is pointing me. I believe that is devil’s workship though. i think what you are doing is your calling and i will be praying for you.
Comment by Lauren January 22, 2012 @ 7:30 amWell, its good to know you’re still human.
You’re singing my song. It seems like everyone is struggling with direction and certainty in my life right now. My prayers I send out to you. But to me, that’s the adventure of life. Imagine how boring life would be if we knew everything that was about to happen. The unknown can be such an annoying blessing. It forces us to rely on God and trust Him. But saying that doesn’t make the uncertainty any easier to deal with. My thoughts and prayers go out to you, bro. As I am about to graduate, the reality of the futrure is only looming closer. *sigh* But God is good. And I trust Him.
Comment by Adam Keeton January 22, 2012 @ 7:42 amthanks for being real, brother. I know we can relate, and I know you have host of people who believe in you – at least i do.
glad you’re around (:
Comment by Joshua David Garmon January 22, 2012 @ 11:14 amOne of my favorite Old Testament verses: “And what is required of you, O man. That you love what is just, do the right, and walk humbly with your God. The walking humbly part is easier because we’re human and have lots of reasons to be humble. Jesus didn’t come because we’re perfect, He came because we’re not. All we can really give Him is an open heart and a willingness to be shaped after His own good heart.
Comment by fr. brian smith January 22, 2012 @ 12:11 pmAwesome post Zach. Raw. Honest. To the core – and that is where most humans miss it…they cover the questions of life up; the mask themselves for others to see;they run when God says be still. Life is an adventure – a journey. Adams response is so on target, as is your post Zach. Many teen guys, raised up by societial norms and media portrayals are not true to themselves, to God, to the utter essence of what God destined to become or be. I applaud your openness and candidness and may your testimony, the good, the not so good and the yet to come be used by God as you avail yourself to Him. Being a lighthouse surrounded by darkness is what we need more of! Blessings upon you. Keep seeking. Keep questioning. Keep bending. Keep honoring those virtues that define your character in Christ. The journey is wonderful – so rejoice!
Comment by bullet January 22, 2012 @ 2:36 pmThank you so much for saying this . . . I used to be certain of a lot of things and I am going through a long phase right now where I’m questioning pretty much everything about who I am and what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. It’s nice to hear someone else feeling like a lot of question marks
Comment by Hannah Jenny January 22, 2012 @ 3:15 pmthank you!
That is SO what I needed to hear right now. It’s so easy to think that people who have accomplished things have everything under control, but really, God is the only one who has anything under control. Thank you, Zach.
Comment by Emily Hannah January 22, 2012 @ 6:26 pmYou are not alone, brother. It really is tough to know exactly what God wants us to do and accomplish in life, and I agree. Sometimes I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing and being all the Lord wants me to be. But we just need to trust that He knows what’s best for us, and that everything works for the good of those who love Him. And maybe this uncertainty is being used by Him for good. Rely on Him. He has all the answers, even if we don’t. Praying.
Comment by Amanda January 22, 2012 @ 9:47 pmThanks for writing this. I was at a concert last night, and I sat there looking at everyone else talking and laughing, wondering the whole time if there is something wrong with me. I don’t know what I’m doing, I have no idea what God is going to do with my life. Then I felt God was saying, “None of these people know what they’re doing either. Trust me.” I guess our lives really do boil down to whether or not we are willing to trust God despite our fears and follow Him in humility.
Comment by Rachel Palm January 22, 2012 @ 9:56 pm