Just wrote this because I was feeling it.

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A lot of people seem to think I have direction- that I have it figured out. I just want to be honest with you guys. Every second of every day, I question whether or not I’m doing the right thing. Whether or not I’m where I’m supposed to be; being who I’m supposed to be. Every decision. I’m assuming I’m not the only one out there who’s like this. Feeling like I’m doing the wrong thing when it should feel right. For those of you who feel this.. I’m with you. I feel like I KNOW it’s worth it. But sometimes I don’t believe it. It’s not even that I feel broken, necessarily… but just that I feel bent. Sort of crooked and cockeyed. I know that the truth will set me free and I know what I believe and where I stand. It’s just that sometimes, my own feet betray me. Is this what humanity is/feels like? Uncertainty? Question marks????? haha… Faith is tricky. But friend, I believe in you. I really do. And it is my belief in my fellow humans, and my overarching belief in a God that is love, that keeps me going. Even if I have to limp.

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18 thoughts on “Just wrote this because I was feeling it.

  1. Lauren

    I feel like this sometimes too. I started a small organization if you will called Change for Change a few months ago. It raises money for clothes for kids in El Salvador. It hasn’t really taken off I have told both of my youth groups about it and 3 different pastors and it just sort of stand still. However we have raised a little over $200 since then. But I wonder if this is what God wants me to do. If this is really where he is pointing me. I believe that is devil’s workship though. i think what you are doing is your calling and i will be praying for you.

  2. Well, its good to know you’re still human. πŸ˜‰ You’re singing my song. It seems like everyone is struggling with direction and certainty in my life right now. My prayers I send out to you. But to me, that’s the adventure of life. Imagine how boring life would be if we knew everything that was about to happen. The unknown can be such an annoying blessing. It forces us to rely on God and trust Him. But saying that doesn’t make the uncertainty any easier to deal with. My thoughts and prayers go out to you, bro. As I am about to graduate, the reality of the futrure is only looming closer. *sigh* But God is good. And I trust Him.

  3. fr. brian smith

    One of my favorite Old Testament verses: “And what is required of you, O man. That you love what is just, do the right, and walk humbly with your God. The walking humbly part is easier because we’re human and have lots of reasons to be humble. Jesus didn’t come because we’re perfect, He came because we’re not. All we can really give Him is an open heart and a willingness to be shaped after His own good heart.

  4. Awesome post Zach. Raw. Honest. To the core – and that is where most humans miss it…they cover the questions of life up; the mask themselves for others to see;they run when God says be still. Life is an adventure – a journey. Adams response is so on target, as is your post Zach. Many teen guys, raised up by societial norms and media portrayals are not true to themselves, to God, to the utter essence of what God destined to become or be. I applaud your openness and candidness and may your testimony, the good, the not so good and the yet to come be used by God as you avail yourself to Him. Being a lighthouse surrounded by darkness is what we need more of! Blessings upon you. Keep seeking. Keep questioning. Keep bending. Keep honoring those virtues that define your character in Christ. The journey is wonderful – so rejoice!

  5. Thank you so much for saying this . . . I used to be certain of a lot of things and I am going through a long phase right now where I’m questioning pretty much everything about who I am and what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. It’s nice to hear someone else feeling like a lot of question marks
    thank you!

  6. That is SO what I needed to hear right now. It’s so easy to think that people who have accomplished things have everything under control, but really, God is the only one who has anything under control. Thank you, Zach.

  7. Amanda

    You are not alone, brother. It really is tough to know exactly what God wants us to do and accomplish in life, and I agree. Sometimes I’m not sure if I’m doing the right thing and being all the Lord wants me to be. But we just need to trust that He knows what’s best for us, and that everything works for the good of those who love Him. And maybe this uncertainty is being used by Him for good. Rely on Him. He has all the answers, even if we don’t. Praying.

  8. Rachel Palm

    Thanks for writing this. I was at a concert last night, and I sat there looking at everyone else talking and laughing, wondering the whole time if there is something wrong with me. I don’t know what I’m doing, I have no idea what God is going to do with my life. Then I felt God was saying, “None of these people know what they’re doing either. Trust me.” I guess our lives really do boil down to whether or not we are willing to trust God despite our fears and follow Him in humility.

  9. Yo Zach… I wonder if you might be available to come and be a guest speaker at a church in suburban DC. Where would I go to find information about booking you… assuming you do that sort of thing.

  10. Tina

    I just wanted to say that what you are doing and what you stand for is amazing. I’m sure you hear that all the time, but still. God has been using you in awesome ways. You seem to have a heart that love’s the Lord, and that in and of it’s self is a wonderful thing. The devil is always going to try and fill your mind with doubt and what not. But just know “greater is He that is within you, than he who is in the world.” Also, “be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might.” Ephesians 6:10

  11. Stumbled across your blog when I searched for LC2LC. Haven’t checked up on it in quite a while and I was working on a blog post that tied in modern day slavery. I was thrilled to find your blog!
    Thanks for being so honest. I know that feeling, very well. The good news is that through our weakness, God is glorified. Always hold on to that. Because truly, if we could do everything or be certain about everything, where would God fit in? Keep close to Him and ask Him to draw you even closer.

  12. Faith Lewis

    Hi I love your work!! Its great to see young people go on with God. I recently came across a young girl from n.ireland, she has a similar passion for the lord, check out her sites http://www.suzi-j.com and http://www.wait08.com ….she seeks to help other young people get direction in their lives….stop by her sites! πŸ™‚

  13. i often feel the same way–it’s a difficult time to go through, but with God, we all get through it eventually. πŸ™‚ we just have to trust Him.

  14. Deanna Clark

    Years ago I dreamed of heaven. I met a young woman wearing a t-shirt that said, “ON EARTH I NEVER WORE CLOTHES MADE BY SLAVES”

    Wow! I want that!! So for years I have tried, looking dumb, sewing clothes, ordering stuff for little teenage figures. (I’m 65 with a small Social Security check)

    Finally I have conquered the urge to go shopping…for a female raised going to Neiman-Marcus long ago, this was a real self-conquest. If I can do it, SO CAN YOU!!
    It does mean something…God gives a “triple word score” for fasting from such evil that is sooooo tempting.
    God bless you all!

  15. --Radical--

    “So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what He has promised. For,

    ‘In just a little while,
    He who is coming will come
    and will not delay.’
    And,
    ‘But my righteous one will live by faith.
    And I take no pleasure
    in the one who shrinks back.’

    But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.”

    (Hebrews 10:35-39)

    … don’t give up, don’t even slow down… walk out on the water… never doubt, looking toward the wind and the waves… always, always, always keep your eyes on Jesus… have faith in the only One who gives you strength to do the impossible…

    How ’bout we limp together? πŸ™‚

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